When conflict happens between you and another person look at your part in the deal and face the conflict. Ignoring and resisting conflict won’t make it go away. What’s your plan for resolving conflict?
Working and living with other people generates joy, frustration and irritation. Express appreciation for the joy and address unresolved conflict. A lack of either or both will create resentment and fuel conflict.
Maybe you have someone that “rubs you the wrong way” or maybe someone offended you 13 years ago or last month and your typical approach is to get even by not speaking or acting rude. This approach is a lousy strategy for peace – peace of mind especially.
It takes guts and honesty mixed with courtesy to speak up when you feel offended. But that is your part in the deal.
Try this – “When you this or that I told myself this or that. I know it’s my responsibility to share what’s up for me so can we have a respectful discussion about this?” Courtesy, courage and kindness are the perfect combination to approaching conflict. You can’t make anyone do anything but you can choose your actions and reactions to everything.
Don’t continue to lay the groundwork for war by setting a trap to ambush the other guy. Go direct, avoid being accusatory and work to resolve the conflict. War is expensive, people get hurt.
Remember, remain open to feedback and lessen your defensiveness when others muster up their courage and bring you issues they have with you.
So what’s it going to be – war or peace? What’s your plan for resolving conflict? If you want to learn more about conflict resolution, Sticky Situations and Stinky People is the program for you.